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    Saturday, 17 November 2018

    They are 'Children of these days '

    In our conversation , a family friend kept lamenting that the daughter had been staying home for close to a year … despite studying a professional course at a university .
    According to her , she got tired of giving the girl transportation fare ( daily ) to a law firm that wasn ’ t giving her a dime for her efforts.

    So , she advised the daughter to stay at home … until they ( the parents ) could raise the funds for her postgraduate studies .
    A few days after that encounter , I contacted an older friend and begged him to take the girl in any of his offices.

    He was reluctant at first … pointing out that he preferred experienced hands -due to the nature of his practice .

    He eventually employed the girl and the pay was satisfactory too …considering that she was coming with no experience.
    The mum kept updating me on her job experience .

    But the girl … I never heard from !
    Until we met at their family function … almost a year later .
    She gave me a hug quite alright but I chided her .

    One would expect a THANK YOU ( via SMS or call ) as soon as she got the job but nothing of such happened .
    Instead , it was the mum that wouldn ’ t stop saying THANK YOU any chance she got .

    And it made me shudder at even the calibre of parenting that exists in this age .
    If the mum felt it was necessary to say THANK YOU… why had she not done the most important thing in that regard?
    Making the girl do it herself !
    While growing up …

    Any favours that came one ’ s way would have our mothers screaming “ have you said THANK YOU , have you gone to ‘ greet ’ them. ”
    You don ’ t want to imagine the ‘ stare -of - disgust ’ that would greet the realisation that you even waited to be reminded of such .
    Mothers , don ’ t always step in to ‘ act ’ on their behalf .

    TEACH THEM to do it, instead !
    We are raising highly entitled children and busy justifying it with “ they are children of these days . ”
    The pattern of behaviour that I detect in a lot of young people these days worries me as equally as it disappoints .
    A lot of them carry this ‘ sense of entitlement ’ into most areas of their lives and we keep looking the other way ( in order not to offend them).
    Such an attitude morphs into ‘ character’ which is bound to upset other social settings in their lives .
    Aren ’ t we already raising children who feel that those that give them money are the only ones who deserve their respect ?

    Stories abound of homes where fathers that don ’ t pull their economic weight are roundly disrespected by the children , because mummy is the one paying the bills .
    The children that we are raising in this age don ’ t know how far a humble THANK YOU can take anybody .

    I have often said that gestures of COURTESY don ’ t escape a humble spirit .
    It’ s a mark of humility, courtesy and gratitude to acknowledge EVERY positive effort that anybody makes towards you .
    Situations will always arise , where COURTESY will go a long way to smoothen things out .
    It’ s most convenient to blame their age but GOOD MANNERS have more to do with upbringing and introspection … as one knows better .
    My son swallows hard when I go hard on him on these issues.
    I am big on COURTESY!

    You don ’ t close your eyes to obvious MANNERLESSNESS because “ they are children of these days . ”
    It’ s destroying their relationships at an alarming rate .

    Most of them are going to deal with employers and in - laws ( for example ) and this calibre of people are absolutely big on courtesy … no what you think you are bringing to the table !

    A courteous disposition says a lot about you .
    And saying THANK YOU is the simplest courteous gesture that anybody can

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